when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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