I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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