is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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