i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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