Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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