I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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