so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
