I should be sponsored by Trojan
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
its liver damage thursday
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
