So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Never underestimate the power of titties
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