i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
