Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
