At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Sorry about my life...
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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