Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize