Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize