There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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