lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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