Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
