it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
