I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
