tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We left the knife in your bed.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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