they need to just BURY HIM!
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
