the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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