I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
