We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Randomize
