Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
