If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
