I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize