I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
