i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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