they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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