I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
