I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
