I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
