How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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