I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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