so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
