just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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