I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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