I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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