I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
