I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
