Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
never play flip cup with pint glasses
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
