Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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