He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Terrible idea I love it
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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