I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
