I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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