He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
