So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize