My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
