Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.

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(989): View more from Michigan

We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk

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(501): View more from Arkansas

i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.

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(516): View more from New York

and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.

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(419): View more from Ohio

So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?

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(225): View more from Louisiana

So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"

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(417): View more from Missouri

Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.

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