look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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