honey bunches of taint.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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