i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
