his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
