I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i may or may not be watching the land before time
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
