Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
you made out with another girl for some wings
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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