even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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