Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
