He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
