apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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