the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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