Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
