anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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