i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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